Today my husband pulled out some paperwork that he wanted to fill out together. It's labeled confidential and will be put in his file at work in the case of his death in the line of duty.
Not exactly what I want to think about on a random Friday afternoon. And yet it is the thing I find myself randomly thinking about on nights that I allow myself to worry. There are nights I lie awake and think about what it would be like to have my doorbell ring in notification of my husband's death. I try not to let myself go down that path of thinking, and yet here these papers sit on my kitchen table demanding me to think about it. I feel like they are screaming at me "Look! This might happen to your husband when he goes to work tonight!" Not where I like to let my mind wander. Naturally I couldn't get through the questions and answers without tears. What starts out as hypothetical thinking all of a sudden starts to feel like planning.
But I plan on that envelope never being openned.
I pray that envelope is never opened.
In fact, I hope when he retires they give him that sealed envelope so I can put it through the shredder.
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Have you ever noticed, people never are heard to say "Yeah, I knew the elevator was going to crash, but I got on it anyway." or "It was obvious I was going to get t-boned if I pulled out on the green light, but I still went."
ReplyDeleteNope. You know why? It's always the UNEXPECTED that gets you. If you have a PLAN, you've immediately dropped the odds of the event happening.
Or at least that's the craziness I use to keep things safe around here. :(
Just be glad you have a plan. Imagine how scary it would be to get the knock if you DIDN'T have a plan.
...better yet burn it! ;)
ReplyDeleteAmen Meadow!
ReplyDelete:) Stella